Reader Question: Choosing Your Bridesmaids

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Although what I am about to blog right now is not entirely related to wedding planning, it has been a popular request from many of my readers and I think it is the right time to dive into this topic! Many Vancouver wedding planners have been asked this question as well and we all have different ideas, though most can be fused together. To past and future brides, many of you understand the emotional struggle in the selection process. No one likes to have anyone hurt or upset but in the end it is your choice. You do not want to end up making a decision in which you regret during and after the wedding.

I will offer you my personal opinions only and hopefully it will help guide some of you along the way.

A Good Fit with the Wedding Party

If you’re on the fence about asking someone or choosing between people to be in your wedding party, consider how they’d fit in with the rest of your attendants. If you don’t think they’d mesh with your crew, leave them off the list. This is about making your day easier and not have to worry about how the others are doing with each other.

Expectations and Roles

Your bridesmaids want to be there to support you, but as in any successful relationship, they need to know what is expected of them. What sort of a role do you want your wedding party to play? Is it important to you that they help create/package your wedding favours, assemble decor, write seating place cards for you? Or will it be enough for them to wear what you choose and show up on your wedding day? If you want a very involved wedding party, it may not be the best idea to ask friends or family who live far away or have extremely hectic schedules who do not have the flexibility to help you out.

Don’t Only Pick Someone Because You’ve Known Them The Longest

Time has hardly anything to do with forming a bond with someone. If you only pick someone who you’ve known the longest, it’s not really fair to ladies in your group who you are even closer with now but have known for a much shorter time. Time is important, but don’t let that be the main deciding factor when you’re choosing your bridesmaids. If they want to talk to you about why they aren’t in your wedding, be completely honest. Explain that it was a tough decision but you really felt like you should have the people you feel closest to at this point in your life standing up for you, and there are so many of those people (including him or her) that you had to leave out some very special ones. STAY IN THE PRESENT and think 5 years from now…will you still be as close to them as you are now?

Being a Bridemaid Means There Is Work Involved…Plus It Isn’t Cheap

Sometimes the Bride will either purchase the bridesmaids dresses or cover the costs for hair and make-up on the wedding day as a thank you gift for being there for her, but don’t bet on it! She might decide to buy everyone a personal gift instead or pamper you in another way so be prepared to pay for a few things. Other associated costs and work involved with being a bridesmaids include setting up the bridal shower, attending the bachelorette, buying the bride’s gifts, buying your own shoes and jewellery, etc.

What are some of your personal opinions for the selection process? What advice can you give to brides-to-be?

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